Let’s call a spade a spade

When I was looking to get married I read every book I could lay my hands on just to have an idea of what the new terrain held.

I asked those I knew who were married; most gave really light weight answers except for 2 people. May Allaah bless these 2 sisters and elevate them in status.

But the information didn’t quite prepare me for the reality of what was to come.

I read everything under the sun. Infact I started reading long before marriage eventually became apparent but even then I was not able to picture what reality felt like.

Courtship as is the case in our times now isn’t the way to go and I knew I was definitely not going for courtship as is the case now.

Most books were very theoretical so I decided to do something to fix that hence my book, The White Elephant

Although vulnerability is seen as “taboo” in most African communities, it is a human need that we need to acknowledge and give room for if we are going to reduce the burden of trauma in our African communities especially the Muslim communities

Although there are soo many discussions around relationships and marriage; we still shy away from ACTUALLY calling a spade a spade and addressing the real issues that are eating at the fabric of civility in our communities.

The family makes the community. With the increase in breakdown of homes as is currently the case in many communities across the world with emphasis on the African communities, it is about time we stopped pretending the issues don’t exist.

It is about time we started having real discussions about the causes of the breakdown.

It is about time we invested a lot more in personal development as developing the SELF translates to improved productivity and efficiency in all facets of life.

It is about time we started to work with the ones yet unmarried as well as those who have had it rough to heal, learn, relearn and grow.

Relationships are important; Marriage is important; Family is important; Sanity is even more important

I attended an Online event that addressed red flags in relationships yesterday and it was interesting to find that the attendees were mostly older women and I barely so young people at this event and I was shocked.

Older women in their mid were invested in learning yet those who needed to have been sitted in that gathering were no where near.If you would like to ensure that more people are

It might seem like it is none of your business right now however the pain might be closer home than you realize because the ones close to you suffering in silence are worried you will judge them, berate them and expose them to ridicule.

It is not all gloom. We can start to address this by being a part of the solution.

Here are some ways you can be of help;

1. Buy a copy of The White Elephant for yourself and other young people around you. The book has something for singles, married and divorced.
   This costs just N3000 for a copy
2. Sign up for the HEAL Conference 2.0 and sign up for someone you know swimming through turbulent waters at the moment
   Costs just N5000 for 6 days
3. Support someone experiencing difficulty with a Support session or Self development program

Living in Abundance 3.0 would not only train them on how to enjoy abundance despite their difficulties,

They would also have a Bonus Self discovery class that would help them rise again.

4. Be empathetic and supportive. What goes around comes around
5. Practice Self care and invest in your growth.
6. Reach out to people you haven’t heard from in a while who might be having it rough.
7. Share this post with others so they can also take the learnings and take action as well.